Dear Die-ry ,
9:17 PM
9:17 PM
Okay this part is edited so if you want to see the early one please scroll down first thankyou :D
Ongminmin is thinking too much again . Im confused with my thinkings once again . I dont want to become an emo Jiamin again you know . Emo style is cool but being emo ? Its shit . I hate it , the feeling .
Okay , this part is fairly , only when I think too much . Tmr I'll be alright (:
Okay . Shall I be like everyone , so strong , so happy , with everything hidden inside ?
Anyone who knows me clear enough must have known that I show out my feelings , happy , sad , hyper , angry . And whatever .
Is it really irritating to be like that ? I mean like , pouring my feelings out always , without even thinking of hiding it . That's me and what I do .
All my really really good friends , they are strong , but actually they are weak .
For me ? I dont know anything about me actually . Many times I hope to see a better view of myself thru others , but no one ever tell me clearly what Im .
Im , attituded , easily angry/sad/happy , is it a MUST change thing ? Couldnt I stay as and when I like to ?
At this point of time , I feel like starving myself , slapping myself , and what's more , hating myself .
Because I really do feel like a failure .
Saddistic hor ? But I really will be okay tmr lol .
This feeling in my head , I dont know which one do I feel is the correct one .
1. Feeling not worth it to have such good friends around me when Im the rotten one ? or
2. Feeling that it's not worth it to be even thinking about people like them .
Okay , I guess most probably people will say , number one la , you already said you are rotten .
But sometimes , things people do , ways they think , really makes me wonder .
I tends to treat friend better , but are they worth the nice treatment ?
Im not pointing to anyone in particular , stop suspecting ok -.-
Oh ya , now Im even thinking of what others will say about me . So NOT like me at all . So fucking disappointed with myself for thinking of it , shag lor -.-
And Im also thinking , should I blog out my feelings so often ? Revealing my weak self .
Actually , I wanna stand out , I wanna be a special someone in a really good way , as in everyone will like .
But , what for care whether people likes you or not , just be yourself ?
But yeah , she's right , somethings people cannot stand my attitude and will refuse to give in .
So maybe I should change , for myself .
What should I do ?
I've a feeling I need someone right now .
Sometimes my boyfriend can be my greatest friend .
----------
.jpg)
HJKs and a few Malays kicking soccer .
My Joycie !
.jpg)
Baby lying on the ground , very cute !
.jpg)
Mummy , can you be what you were once ?
.jpg)
.jpg)
Bf & I , I know we should have sit closer xD
----------
Pictures as promised , ok I know Im very obsessed with my darlingssss and only me and others are interested D:
Joycie didnt come out today . Hope that she'll be smiling how she was :D
I will always be behind you de girlfieee !
This afternoon was creeping in my house , afraid of my mother . She threatened to strangle me ytd while I locked myself in my room . Of course I never open the door to prevent myself from dying la . Then this morning I was still afraid . While she was in bedroom I was in the toilet , so on and forth , and lucky I got out unscath .
Ridiculous right ? I also never imagine my mother to be this scary . The person once closest to me ..
After that I went to Fragrant Wood to meet Darling , Alvin & Hanjie . After awhile and I pei-ed Darling home . Same longgg road to his house ! But I eh-tahan de . HAHA . Oh , saw Clinton , Victor , Andrew and Joseph at 515 eating !! Super happy , but I called "DIDI" to Joseph he very paiseh . Why ?!!!?!?! Last time he wasnt like that :'(
Ok nvm , I arent close to Riversidians anymore anyway D:
After that , went to 515 eat fries ! Saw Kelvin , Cheewei , Haoren , Roger , DarrenLiao & Keith .
Darling ate Wanton noodles .
Haoren say he felt relaxed and sleepy and dont feel like talking , I feel like going home in his place because I like sleeping at home on rainy days !!!
I love the rain and will never get sick from getting wet .
Im getting stronger nowadays man (:
Was very close with dearest bf throughout the day and I felt very happy !
Ytd had a quarrel and talk with him which made me love him even more . Hah .
I love myself even more too !
I couldnt be giving in to people always anymore right ?
LDS .
Hahaha .
It's not my loss I shall say .
After going to 515 we went to RC slacking slacking .
Took BF cap and specs to play again . Exchange phone with him :D
Very happy ok .
Hoho .
K la .
Goodbye !
I love my boyfriend dearly .
♥ Kianhui
Ongminmin is thinking too much again . Im confused with my thinkings once again . I dont want to become an emo Jiamin again you know . Emo style is cool but being emo ? Its shit . I hate it , the feeling .
Okay , this part is fairly , only when I think too much . Tmr I'll be alright (:
Okay . Shall I be like everyone , so strong , so happy , with everything hidden inside ?
Anyone who knows me clear enough must have known that I show out my feelings , happy , sad , hyper , angry . And whatever .
Is it really irritating to be like that ? I mean like , pouring my feelings out always , without even thinking of hiding it . That's me and what I do .
All my really really good friends , they are strong , but actually they are weak .
For me ? I dont know anything about me actually . Many times I hope to see a better view of myself thru others , but no one ever tell me clearly what Im .
Im , attituded , easily angry/sad/happy , is it a MUST change thing ? Couldnt I stay as and when I like to ?
At this point of time , I feel like starving myself , slapping myself , and what's more , hating myself .
Because I really do feel like a failure .
Saddistic hor ? But I really will be okay tmr lol .
This feeling in my head , I dont know which one do I feel is the correct one .
1. Feeling not worth it to have such good friends around me when Im the rotten one ? or
2. Feeling that it's not worth it to be even thinking about people like them .
Okay , I guess most probably people will say , number one la , you already said you are rotten .
But sometimes , things people do , ways they think , really makes me wonder .
I tends to treat friend better , but are they worth the nice treatment ?
Im not pointing to anyone in particular , stop suspecting ok -.-
Oh ya , now Im even thinking of what others will say about me . So NOT like me at all . So fucking disappointed with myself for thinking of it , shag lor -.-
And Im also thinking , should I blog out my feelings so often ? Revealing my weak self .
Actually , I wanna stand out , I wanna be a special someone in a really good way , as in everyone will like .
But , what for care whether people likes you or not , just be yourself ?
But yeah , she's right , somethings people cannot stand my attitude and will refuse to give in .
So maybe I should change , for myself .
What should I do ?
I've a feeling I need someone right now .
Sometimes my boyfriend can be my greatest friend .
----------
.jpg)
HJKs and a few Malays kicking soccer .My Joycie !.jpg)
Baby lying on the ground , very cute !.jpg)
Mummy , can you be what you were once ?.jpg)
Bf & I , I know we should have sit closer xD----------
Pictures as promised , ok I know Im very obsessed with my darlingssss and only me and others are interested D:
Joycie didnt come out today . Hope that she'll be smiling how she was :D
I will always be behind you de girlfieee !
This afternoon was creeping in my house , afraid of my mother . She threatened to strangle me ytd while I locked myself in my room . Of course I never open the door to prevent myself from dying la . Then this morning I was still afraid . While she was in bedroom I was in the toilet , so on and forth , and lucky I got out unscath .
Ridiculous right ? I also never imagine my mother to be this scary . The person once closest to me ..
After that I went to Fragrant Wood to meet Darling , Alvin & Hanjie . After awhile and I pei-ed Darling home . Same longgg road to his house ! But I eh-tahan de . HAHA . Oh , saw Clinton , Victor , Andrew and Joseph at 515 eating !! Super happy , but I called "DIDI" to Joseph he very paiseh . Why ?!!!?!?! Last time he wasnt like that :'(
Ok nvm , I arent close to Riversidians anymore anyway D:
After that , went to 515 eat fries ! Saw Kelvin , Cheewei , Haoren , Roger , DarrenLiao & Keith .
Darling ate Wanton noodles .
Haoren say he felt relaxed and sleepy and dont feel like talking , I feel like going home in his place because I like sleeping at home on rainy days !!!
I love the rain and will never get sick from getting wet .
Im getting stronger nowadays man (:
Was very close with dearest bf throughout the day and I felt very happy !
Ytd had a quarrel and talk with him which made me love him even more . Hah .
I love myself even more too !
I couldnt be giving in to people always anymore right ?
LDS .
Hahaha .
It's not my loss I shall say .
After going to 515 we went to RC slacking slacking .
Took BF cap and specs to play again . Exchange phone with him :D
Very happy ok .
Hoho .
K la .
Goodbye !
I love my boyfriend dearly .
♥ Kianhui
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
