Dear Die-ry ,
1:09 AM

"The only reason people hold onto memories so tightly is because memories are the only thing that won't change when everything else seems to."

It's something that I agree to , soso totally , after reading KZB's darlings blogs .
Unfair jiu shi unfair .
Adults can never understand teenagers like us .
Or maybe they are jealous that they arent as pretty .
HAHA .
Screw them and go be your mother fucking dog .
Assssssssssss .

Really , Im reminded of times in the past whenever I read any of my ex-schoolmates blog .
Totally , devastated .
I saw something Belle said in her blog , something about not being really happy starting from this year , not really having a good laugh . Everything changes and becomes stressful .
Maybe even before globalwarming turn serious everyone dies of high blood pressure .

Maybe , I dont even have the right to say anymore , but , I really feel bu fu qi for my friends .
Is there a something I can do for them ?
Maybe asking Ms Christine and Mdm Leow to take charge of CCA again ?
But who am I , hahaha .
I hope the teacher-in-charge now , please please please change her attitude towards people luh !

Aiya , Im too kpo already la !
But I really havent been in a good mood after reading alot of blogs . Time flies like shiet .
Im also shocked that it's MYE for them already .
Seriously , if I were still in school I will be like , WOW , mid year is coming so fast sia , 2 years sure go quite fast must persevere !!
But now ? I dont know what state Im in .

Im happy because I've got a pretty good family , a wonderful boyfriend , aiai & girlfriend .
But .
My future is ruined in my own hands and I know it .
I couldnt go to school and study like any other people .

When Im in Riverside I'll be stressed to death .
When Im in Northland I'll be really , nervous , scared of things , like , getting scolded or friendship or gangsterism kind of stuff ? And I was missing Riverside alot . The people , MY FRIENDS I mean .

I have to face facts dont I . I dont like to go school , I know no one like but somehow I know my case is different (in case you said , that's only what you think but its actually the same for everyone , go eat shit la!) .
Im actually ready to face my fucking future .

Now , I will be happy , thinking , my family , boyfriend , friends will be there for be in future , boyfriend will become husband and yang me kind of stuffs , but somehow when I thought to myself , I really hope it will come true . Dreaming about things that wont come true , hurts my fragile heart .

BUT PLEASEEEE , Im really tired of hearing people say , go to school laaaaaaaaa . When they dont even know any shit . Ok , fine . I love people who cares about me ! Really ! But , I dont want people to persuade me to go school anymore , because I know I will only waste more of my parents money and disappoint many people . I dont think it's fun always having to tell people Im not schooling , or transferring school , or going back school sort of thing . I feel guilty . Saying something and not doing it . I feel like saying millions of sorry everytime either of those happen .

Tell me , who exactly understand everything ? If you think you do , think twice , sighs .
Im being kinda fierce right . Ok , duh .
I need help with my future , with working stuffs .
I need help sorting out what kind of jobs could I go for at this kind of age . Am I a rotten apple ?
Im very blur with what jobs am I limited to . That's why I gave Mum an appearance that Im lazy to find . I dont feel good .

I dont feel like encouraging myself , ending this topic with an encouraging note to myself anymore .
"I know I can figure out a way and find what I want soon"
It will be fucking fake la . Because my mother says , I always couldnt do what I say .

Im disappointed with myself .

---------

Ok la , pictures , I said that I will upload !
Smile hor after you see these pictures !
Save you from above stressful wordy post (:


When I go my Ahma house ,

my cute cute cousin !
i love her pretty face ..
and her long eyelashes :D pretty right !
ugly and unglam but i like it , lickkkkss . HAHA . i clipped up my fringe so i covered my bare forehead !

Monday , in boyfriend's room ^^

Thursday , at Vivo ! :D

Real-blood sister with my favourite twists :D
my big big smileeee
aurora , i dont want you le this is my new girlfriend :D
boyfriend , i also dont want you le :D [fake]
where my retardedness starts , cute hor ^^
i dont know what the fuck i doing , LOLLLL
finally , my sister and i ! :D

She says I want the camera all to myself !
Luckily she never say my head too big , lolll .



Thats all ba , enjoy (:

♥Kianhui